Thursday, January 18, 2007

So it goes

It is an early morning hour and I am still up. Not that I would want to stay awake over the whole night but I cannot simply sleep. I am going to spend few more moments here. I was reading a book a little to shorten the time of my sleeplessness. The book's title is The Sun Also Rises by Ernest Hemingway, perhaps the most famous writer of the Lost Generation.

I have plenty of time to prepare for retaking my exam of American literature, which I have failed recently. The results of the test have not been available yet, they should be due to the end of the month. Still, I have a bad feeling, that I have failed it. I was having a conversation with my classmate over the ICQ and I did lots of swearing to filter my nerves. I know this feeling of having failed quite well, one just feels it when it goes wrong. It is then multiplied by the time, mainly over nights, you have devoted to the studies. Although I was scared and afraid of the exam I went there with a moderate smile on my face. I try to take everything with a bit of humour and optimism.

One of the few of books I had been supposed to read as a compulsory reading, and which I had actually read, Slaghterhouse-five by Kurt Vonnegut, contains two great sentences, which are touching me at my heart, reading: "It's not that bad", and "So it goes". Although both are ironic, or rather sarcastic, related to the cruelty of war they can be applied to one's life, and mine as well. Hm, and I was thinking that reading a book would be useless... Now I am glad to have read it.

These two sentences help me to stand all the bad things happening to me. They are an injection to boost my optimism even further. The burden of the responsibilities in my life seems lighter now. This experience has convinced me that there are classic books worth reading, that not all of them have to be necessarily boring, twisted, and useless. However, there is a question how to find those ones, which might be interesting and bear some truth for me. I think that such books may reveal very much of myself. So I am setting for a quest to find another one that would appeal to me.

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